Tuesday Oct 18, 2022
E56 - Throuple Trouble!
S2:E56 - Throuple Trouble
Announcements
Announcements:
-
Season 2 Begins!
-
New Video Intro
-
We are working on splitting the Podcast more properly, so on the 1/2 hour, we will take as short 15 sec break.
-
We are MOVING to a new studio!
-
Well, it isn't really new, but a new place with a bit more room than we currently have!
-
-
Costume Competition
Next Show
S2:E56 - Meeting People - Apps and Polyamory
News and the Likes
-
We are still stupid!
Listener Questions/Comments
Ananymous - Reddit
-
Curious if you would help fulfill a guy's fantasy. I am married my wife cheated on me so now looking to cheat on wife with a random beautiful woman. Would love to have discreet sex during the day with you if your willing. No strings attached.
Ananymous - Twitter
-
You will be my wife. I want to fuck you hardly
Ananymous - Twitter
-
Hello!!! Found your profile and have to confess I can’t seem to be able to get enough of it. Naughty, daring, open minded, honest, sexy, yet you’ve managed to keep it classy and kinky. Hard balance to achieve yet you’re nailing it. Your new admirer! ? It’s SOOOO refreshing. It comes across that way. It looks genuine. It also shows how much you two care about each other and that comes across clearly. You’re obviously in a great relationship and having some naughty fun comes naturally. You’re one in a million on here that’s for sure. I’m so glad I found your profile. It’s so rare to come across people like you guys
The Show
Boardroom
Labor Day Push - Back to the office!
-
Returning to the office - Forbes - Bosses are Winning the Battle to get Workers back
-
[1] 1.Results indicate that 49% of Manhattan office workers are currently at the workplace on an average weekday—up from 38% in April. Under 10% of employees are in the office five days a week. The number of fully remote workers fell from 28% in April to 16% as of mid-September.
2. In the first week following Labor Day, office usage in 10 major metro areas neared 50% of 2020’s pre-pandemic attendance,
[2] 1. Apple - 3 days per week - Can't replicate -
Us = Bookkeeper - health - great, rest - hell no!!
-
Bedroom
-
Men's Magazine
-
What does it mean to us?
-
Having someone else to share with, to grow with
-
As Womenshealth stated:
-
Which has definite benefits, Spector says: When you have a third person involved, chances are you'll expose yourself and your original partner to qualities that both of you may want but can't offer each other.
Article Notes
What do you dislike the most about being in a throuple?
-
Annie: Wanting to have sex when they didn’t, and subsequently feeling incredibly rejected. Also, my male partner wasn't out about our relationship to his friends and family. Not being involved in his life outside of our relationship was heartbreaking and made me feel small and unwanted.
-
John: I dislike having to check in with the other two. I have long been a very strong-willed and independent person, so making a unilateral and comfortable decision is easy for me. But I often have to check myself to make sure I’m aligned with what benefits us as a triad.
-
Asher: Logistics—our society is built for pairs. I get plus one invitations all the time, and have to decide whether or not it’s worth it to ask for an additional invitation. Incidentally, Disney World is totally built for throuples (two parents and their kid). We went there a year-and-a-half ago and were pleasantly surprised by how many activities the three of us could participate in as a unit.
-
Cathy: Having to defend our relationship when we come up against negative judgement.
-
Nicole: Being the third person coming into an existing relationship, people always assume that I’m being misled or coerced, which isn’t the case at all.
What is/was the hardest part about being in a throuple?
-
Annie: There wasn’t anything inherently hard about being in a throuple vs duo. Navigating boundaries took a little extra communication, though.
-
John: The hardest part of being in a throuple is not being out to everyone. Each of our three mothers knows about us. Our closest friends know about us. But we live in a somewhat Red State, and my job, specifically, relies to a great degree on popular opinion. We have to be guarded in public situations.
-
Asher: The hardest part about being in a throuple, like any relationship, is communication. It’s really important to manage expectations and to be open and honest with each other. Like any relationship, it requires maintenance, which takes time and energy.
-
Thomas: Time management is the hardest part about being in a throuple. Sometimes sleeping arrangements can be a bit inconvenient.
-
Cathy: I wouldn’t say it’s "hard"—but having an extra person’s experience to consider requires more time than when you’re in a couple relationship.
-
Nicole: Having to dedicate extra time to communication because there are additional feelings to take into consideration. However, this communication has allowed us to connect on a deeper level.]
How have you and your partners overcome issues surrounding jealousy?
-
Annie: First off, I’m not a jealous person. Second, jealousy isn’t automatically damaging, it all depends on how you handle it. Having really open dialogues, checking in especially when something is new (i.e. solo sleepover), and being okay with feeling a little crumby—knowing that it doesn’t mean the end of the relationship—is really important.
-
John: I am less jealous than my wife, but we both experience it. We have had episodes of legitimate jealousy, and we have talked ourselves through it. It’s all about the communication.
-
Asher: We talk about our jealousy issues when they arise. Additionally, when the two of them are connecting and I’m not involved, my gut tells me to get in there and join and be a part of it. I resist that urge to always be included because it’s important to give the other two space to work on their own connection to each other.
-
Thomas: Not that jealousy hasn’t been a problem in the past, but in this relationship it isn’t because being open and honest is prioritized, plus we each give each other the freedom to live our lives in the way we would like to, which creates very little friction. Jealousy in the past has occurred because of an imbalance of power and lack of honest communication.
-
Cathy: I feel like jealousy is a fear of loss for me. Nic met someone back home in Australia last year and I felt a bit jealous because I thought she may not come back to the U.K. I was just honest with her about it and saying it out loud made me feel better. I don’t think you can ever completely avoid jealousy in relationships, regardless of their structure. But feeling empowered and able to speak truthfully about your feelings stops it from becoming an issue.
-
Nicole: You need to approach jealousy head on. Speak about it the moment the feeling arises. Establish what has stirred those feelings and be understanding of your partners’ views.
People often think that two people will inevitably become closer in a throuple, and the third person ends up feeling left out. Has that happened to you?
-
Asher: Absolutely, though not necessarily in those terms. The best lesson I’ve learned from being in this relationship is that it doesn’t always have to be about me and that I don’t need to take their relationship with each other personally; it’s not a commentary on me. It’s great for me to understand that resisting the urge to always be included in everything strengthens all relationships involved.
-
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
-
Thomas: I wouldn’t say that anyone has felt left out in our relationship, but two of us getting closer has happened before. (Nic and I were closer when we first met, then over time Cathy and Nic became closer.) But like most relationships, things continually change and we adapt accordingly.
-
Cathy: I’ve never personally felt left out, but we have gone through stages when two of us have been closer. When Thomas and Nicole first met they would go out partying together and I would stay home, but I really valued that time because I have a family and a very demanding job, so time alone is super rare.
-
Nicole: In our relationship we’re all compersion weirdos. [Compersion is the feeling of vicarious joy associated with seeing one's sexual or romantic partner having another sexual or romantic relation that brings them joy. Think of it as an antonym to sexual or romantic jealousy.]
What are some other misconceptions people tend to have about being in a throuple?
-
Annie: That it’s overly complicated. Love, be loved, be open and honest, and any relationship structure can work for you. Also, that you must be super kinky.
-
Asher: I think a lot of people think it’s primarily about sex, and while our throuple certainly began with an incredible sexual connection, it quickly evolved into a much more significant and meaningful relationship. I think there is also a misconception about commitment. We’re not exclusive, but the three of us are definitely committed.
-
Thomas: There’s always this idea that I’m this straight dude at the center of the relationship being serviced by Catherine and Nicole; that they are somehow my possessions and there to please me. Also I identify as pansexual and am attracted to people regardless of their gender identity, so it’s likely that our throuple relationship will evolve again at some point.
-
Cathy: That it makes us bad parents. We have an 8-year-old son who absolutely adores Nicole (Aunty Nic) and understands that both Thomas and I love her. We feel that being completely transparent with him is healthy and allows him to understand that relationships and families come in all shapes and sizes.
-
Also our relationship choice came about because we all watched our parents struggle to stay together (all of our parents are divorced) due to lack of communication and/or infidelity. We wanted to try and do things differently and prioritize being honest with one another. For us, it felt like a much healthier lesson to teach a young person.
-
Nicole: People often think that because you’ve got multiple partners that you’re easy or up for anything sexual.
EndNotes